When children are young, divorce can be emotionally catastrophic. In fact, both young children and adolescents routinely experience academic decline, anger, depression and anxiety following their parents’ divorces. Despite being adults, your grown kids may also react negatively to the news of your divorce.
Before telling your kids about your divorce, you may want to take a few steps to protect yourself. Nevertheless, how you discuss the end of your marriage with your adult children may make a considerable difference in their ability to cope with it.
Just like your children, you have your own life to live. While your kids may have some right to know about the end of your marriage, you do not need to discuss every detail with them. By planning the discussion before having it, you can set an agenda and stick to it. If your children violate your boundaries, do not hesitate to push back.
Ask for some help
If you are on comparatively good terms with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, it may be useful to ask him or her for help talking to your kids. By having both parents present, your children are able to ask questions and express their concerns. They also are not likely to feel like you are trying to gain an unfair advantage over your current husband or wife.
Make yourself available
Because the news of your divorce may be shocking to your kids, they may not be able to process it immediately. If you can make yourself available for several shorter conversations, your children can ask questions when they arise.
Even though you cannot let your adult kids determine what is right for you, you also do not want them to suffer needless emotional harm from your divorce. Ultimately, with some planning and patience, you may improve your chances of having a productive discussion about your divorce.